I thought we had lost the plot when everyone seemed to be obsessed with Penny Mordaunt’s sword haulage during the coronation.

It felt like we were taking it too far when we saw headlines saying Penny was now likely to be Conservative leader one day. Why? Is there a lot of sword play during PMQs?

Penny was interviewed about her preparations for the big day. She explained that she took some painkillers ahead of the event, wore comfortable shoes and practised.

That’s really useful advice for anyone who needs to hold aloft a ceremonial sword, like we all do most weeks.

Just when I thought we’d reached a peak of our pointless obsession we found out that Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield might have had a falling out and that’s all people can talk about.

If it wasn’t for the Eurovision Song Contest there would have been 24-hour rolling coverage of Phil and Holly gate.

Have they fallen out? I’m presuming so because they have worked together since 2009.

That’s a long time to spend with someone without getting on each other’s nerves.

We forget that the people you work with are colleagues and not really friends.

You pick friends based on the people you want to be friends with but your co-workers are selected by someone else during an interview process.

They cancelled a holiday they were taking their families on together, but Phil referred to Holly as his “rock”, so no wonder he doesn’t want to go swimming with her around.

There was talk of at least one of them having to leave the show. Is a host of This Morning replaceable?

If you don’t know the TV show, it was This Morning with Richard and Judy before they left, which rather answers the question.

One newspaper said that Holly had finally broken her silence since the scandal.

I clicked on the article to find that she’s posted online wishing a relative a happy birthday.

Unless there’s a very coded message in there that’s not really the scoop they claimed it was.

Why do we care?

It’s a show on television hosted by people that most of us will never meet and yet we act like it’s our best friends caught up in this.

Even if they stop working together our lives will be largely untouched.

When Phillip stopped working with Gordon the Gopher I thought it was as big as Take That splitting up but I coped.

Even if they lose their work they’ll be OK. If they have to go to the Job Centre they’ll get right at the front of that queue; they’re good at that.