Fiona Caine counsellor answers your dilemmas

Q MY husband has just told me that a woman at his new job is flirting really strongly with him.

He says he’s told her he’s happily married, but why should he think she’ll accept this? I’m so shocked and upset — why would he be telling me if it wasn’t to make me jealous?

I’ve told him that if anything happens, the kids and I will be gone for good. I’ve been cheated on once and I’m not prepared to let that happen again. A.E.

Fiona says: Are you trying to drive your husband away? He has the good sense to tell you about a problem at work and instead of being supportive and trying to help him, you threaten to leave!

He’s not committed an offence (in fact he’s acted very responsibly in telling you) yet you are willing to convict him and sentence him.

What if you’d found out this woman was coming on to him through someone else? How would that have made you feel?

I can understand you might be anxious if you’ve had someone be unfaithful to you in the past, but your husband isn’t that person and it’s not fair to punish him. Calm down and talk to him, explaining why you reacted as you did. Get him to understand your fears, but realise he must be feeling vulnerable himself because of your reaction.

Q MY boyfriend moved in with me and my three children nearly two years ago.

I love him very much and my children think the world of him and we are now talking about getting married.

However, my problem is about money. I work, but with the children, a mortgage to meet and a house to run, my salary often isn’t enough and my boyfriend now earns a good deal more than me.

He only puts £100 a week into the household expenses, though, which was all he could afford when we first got together, but now I don’t think it is enough.

I don’t know how to tell him this without seeming mean, but I am struggling to make ends meet. B.M.

A If you’re at the stage in your relationship where you are talking about marriage, then you need to be talking about money too.

It’s not mean to put your finances in order, it’s quite the reverse, and it’s time your boyfriend realised that bed and board for £100 a week isn’t sustainable!

List all your household expenses and show what it costs you to run the home, plus your income, so he can see for himself how hard it is for you. I’m sure, once you make him aware, he will recognise the need to contribute more. If he doesn’t then think seriously about marrying him.