Being a father for the first time has changed me.
I now park in the parents and child bays legally for a start.
My son is seven months old and I love that little guy, which is strange because I have only known him for seven months and we’ve not really talked.
My new role means I keep an eye on the latest developments in child-rearing.
This week I read that a parenting expert said calling your children 'naughty' is as bad as smacking them.
It’s not though, is it? Certainly as an adult, if you gave me the choice between you calling me naughty or you smacking me, I’d think you were being way too forward for someone I’ve just met.
It’s cognitive behavioural therapist Navit Schechter who has said such negative words will upset your child.
It’s not new. I know someone who tried to not use the word ‘no’ around their children.
The problem is, when you grow to be an adult, there are many times you are told no. If you haven’t developed the ability to be OK with being told you can’t do something you’ll be a monster.
No, you can’t take things that aren’t yours.
No, you can’t drive your car at whatever speed you like.
No, you can’t potentially mislead parliament and get your old job back. Well, most of the time you’ll be told no. It’s part of life.
The expert also says words like ‘good’ are troublesome.
Her theory is that rewarding positive behaviour with such words will turn your child into someone who wants to please other people.
I don’t want to raise a child who doesn’t give two hoots about other people. There are enough of those kind of people in the world, going round not indicating at roundabouts.
If you can’t say naughty and you can’t say good, what do we do?
Do we sit there in silence till he’s 18?
When he takes his first steps, I can say to my son, “That was fine,” and see if that lack of enthusiasm turns him into a well-adjusted grown-up.
I realise I am new at this. I’m only seven months in so I haven’t had to tell my lad that he has been naughty because he hasn’t really done anything for me to pass judgement on.
He crawls in a straight line, I turn him round and he crawls away. It’s like having a cute Roomba vacuum cleaner.
There’s nothing wrong in wanting someone to avoid being naughty.
If people were less naughty, selfish, greedy and all of the other negative words, imagine how much better the world would be.
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