My mind must be playing tricks on me but I could have sworn that when I looked at the Adver news page on the website earlier today there was one of those mini front pages at the top right hand corner of my screen and on it there was a banner which read FREE BAG OF CHIPS FOR EVERY READER. Am I hallucinating? Did anyone else see it? Or did I click on the soaraway Sun website instead?

On the subject of amusing quotes, I have a feeling that Town boss Maurice Malpas is shaping up to be a rich source of material. Here’s three of his recent statements as an example:

If we do lose games by being a bit kamikaze and a bit gung-ho then so be it.

There are no favourites and no billy big times.

We have lost a game but what has happened is in the past.

A classic that, what has happened is in the past, don't you think? As a public service, I will be monitoring Mr Malpas’s future outpourings for further examples of Ron Manager-speak.

Next up is jazzmeister Humphrey Littleton after hearing of the recent death of humorist (or rather, ex-humorist) Miles Kington. "Humorous writing," he said, "is one of the hardest things in life to do". I can attest to that and would also like to state that it’s equally as hard to attempt to write what you believe to be humorous stuff but which could just as easily be interpreted as a mishmash of other people’s quotes and smart-alec remarks.

Final quote of the week comes from the redoubtable Lord Clarkson of Topgear. Actually he wrote it back in 1999 but I only read it this week so it qualifies for inclusion. On the subject of one of his many pet hates, the USA, he described the American population as "250 million w*****s living in a country with no word for w*****".

That comment must rank as what my old English teacher would have called “harsh but fair”.