Our baby loss was made so much worse

Samantha Coulson, who gave birth to baby Stevie in October at just 17 weeks, has been unable to talk about her tragic loss until now, a situation made worse by the ‘unfeeling’ way she said she was treated at the hospital.

The 21-year-old from Greenmeadow went to GWH in September for her 12-week scan where she was told Stevie’s bladder was inflamed.

She said she was told if the swelling did not subside they would need to perform pre-natal surgery.

But just four weeks later, after being transferred to John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxfordshire, Samantha and partner Alex Cole were given the devastating news that Stevie could not survive – something she says she had not been warned of at GWH.

“I had no idea that there was a chance we might lose him,” she said.

“The way everyone was talking was very reassuring. They said if his bladder got bigger they’d operate and that was that.

“But when I got to the John Radcliffe the specialist said it had tripled in size in the last four weeks and his survival was hopeless. If that was the risk why wasn’t I being monitored throughout the four weeks rather than right at the end?”

Samantha said she and Alex were also in pieces over the terminology used by the specialist, worsened still when they were told by the Job Centre’s social fund they could not apply for a grant to cover Stevie’s funeral because he wasn’t classed as a baby until he was 24 weeks old.

“I had to give birth to him,” said Samantha, who delivered on October 5, “I held him in my arms and I kissed him. How dare anyone say ‘my foetus’ is unviable or that my baby isn’t a baby – how dare they!”

To add further insult to injury, confusion about the part GWH could play in Stevie’s funeral left his parents £1,600 out of pocket – £400 of which they had to borrow from Samantha’s grandfather’s pension.

“We were handed this booklet which said the hospital would sort the funeral at no cost to us but that if we wanted a plaque we could purchase one,” said Sam.

“I mentioned this to a nurse and she said she didn’t think they did that. In the end there was such a lack of clarity we cancelled the hospital’s involvement in the arrangements altogether. The nurses were fabulous and we never would have got through such a terrible time without them, but their managers treated us appallingly, not once did anyone come and sit with us to explain the options.

“We were left with a piece of paper and that was it.”

GWH has since apologised for the misunderstanding, offering to cover the full costs of Stevie’s funeral as a gesture of goodwill.

A spokesman for Great Western Hospital NHS Foundation Trust, said: “Losing a baby early in the pregnancy is a distressing experience for any family. We provide parents in this situation with the option of a dignified funeral service funded by us under the care of the Trust Chaplain. This also involves a plaque for the baby being placed in a local cemetery around a communal memorial.

“We appreciate that this is a particular difficult time for families and we fund this to try to help them come to terms with their loss.

“Due to mis-communication, on this occasion the opportunity for a service funded by the hospital was not taken. We have since met with the parents to discuss their concerns and given them the reassurances they were looking for about their care and we also have offered to cover the costs incurred by the family in making their own arrangements including a headstone.”

Samantha said: “I’d really like to thank the Adver for getting involved and Elizabeth Daly from patient experience at the hospital who was the first person from GWH to treat us like grieving parents. Hopefully now we can give Stevie the kind of memorial any parent would want for their child.”

A spokesperson from the Department for Work and Pensions said: “We would like to extend our deepest sympathy to Miss Coulson at this difficult time. Unfortunately we can only help families with the cost of a funeral if our rules allow us to do so.”